LIFE REALLY DOES TURN ON US WHEN WE REACH 50.
THE PEOPLE ALL AROUND US THINK THAT AGE IS A WEAKNESS.
People come into your life for a reason 🙂
Human beings are social creatures. Our connection to others enables us to survive and to thrive.
Yet, as we age, we lose our parents. close relatives & friends divorce happens and many of us are alone more often than when we were younger, leaving us vulnerable to social isolation and loneliness—and related health problems such as depression, cognitive decline, heart disease and emotions and cancer.
Life is a journey of exploration that never really gets there because ultimately I am finite.
Faith is about being comfortable with my doubts because doubt is part of my search for truth.
We live lives in which our egos dominate us and in which we live apart from the ground of reality that is God. Using an analogy from science, we experience only one side of reality — our bodies and the spaces around us — but if we were to look at reality at the molecular level, reality looks very different — what appears solid is actually made up mostly of space and the empty space around us is filled with particles.
The path to salvation thus becomes more like an awakening, an understanding,and an experience
of what is already here but we cannot see. The spiritual path (prayer, meditation, fasting, worship, etc.) becomes a mechanism to peel back the onion layers of who we are and what we think the world around us is, so that we can examine the power of God within ourselves, within others, and within existence itself. Salvation is an opening of our eyes and hearts, a new way of seeing the universe.
Faith then is not belief in a certain doctrine about Jesus, but a trust in using him as an example of what it looks like to live a God-centered life. Through the stories in the Gospels (whether or not the details are historical are irrelevant), we can understand the nature of God’s presence within the world and what a God-centered life looks like: a life of humility, compassion, love without boundaries, a life which experiences suffering and doubt, but a life that ultimately participates in the eternal power of God that transcends death.
We’ve all heard the expression “Try it on faith.” This doesn’t mean, “Believe me” but rather “Trust me, and experience it for yourself.” Faith is about testing, questioning, and doubting. In science these qualities lead to greater truths, why shouldn’t the same apply to religion? For me, religion is about embracing the unknown and the difficult — a journey of exploration that never really gets there because ultimately I am finite. Faith is about being comfortable with my doubts because doubt is part of my search for truth. Faith is not a closing of my eyes and mind to the real world, to science, to modern knowledge, or to experience, but it is the opposite:
an opening up and a new way of seeing.
Understanding evolves and changes with information; it is open and dynamic. The history of science shows us that whatever our beliefs and theories are today, they will probably be proved wrong over time, and we will then adapt our theories to the new information. Therefore when I pose the question at the top of this blog post: “What do you believe?” I do so as an invitation to explore your beliefs, to question them, and to engage in a deeper search for meaning that may mean confronting uncomfortable facts and evolving your views.
Definition of Proactive Aggression:
All emotions play a part in our mind ~ body ~ spirit.
But Perhaps no action in life stings more than betrayal. Betrayal can leave you angry & revengeful.
To feel betrayed, you had to trust someone enough to be hurt by their unexpected actions.
Recovering from this hurt can leave you unwilling to trust anyone in the same way for a long time.
The psychological effects of betrayal are broad, even affecting the stability of societies.
Trust is a basis for human existence, influenced by certain chemicals in the brain, such as oxytocin,
a body chemical that accelerates trustful feelings.
When going through your own betrayal, you can experience many related emotions.
Shock
The initial feeling most people experience when encountering a betrayal is shock.
You’re likely to spend weeks, months or even years in disbelief that the person who offended you
was capable of her actions. Oftentimes, trust is built over time and, based on witnessed behaviors,
it takes time to reprogram your brain about the nature of this person’s character.
Anger
After it settles in that your friend is capable of such a derogatory action, you are likely to experience some level of anger. It’s common to get mad about letting yourself trust a person who was so insensitive and be furious at the betrayer. You may even have vengeful feelings of wanting to get back at that person,
or hurt him in the same way he hurt you.
Grief
After the more caustic feelings of shock and anger dissipate, you may experience classic feelings of grief. If the betrayal is so great that you lose your relationship entirely, you may grieve that loss. You may grieve what you thought you had with this person, which can be more difficult than letting go of something that actually existed.
Isolation
If feelings of betrayal encroach greatly upon your sense of well-being, you may want to isolate yourself from others. Going out with your friends or making new ones seem less and less appealing. If feelings of isolation are allowed to go on for too long, you can even develop a social phobia.
Sadness/Depression
Feelings of sadness are common after experiencing a betrayal. It hurts to have your trust in a person annihilated, and it’s a logical progression of emotions to feel sad along the way. For those who don’t work out their feelings and allow them to fester, they may even slip into a more precarious state of depression.
Health Risks of an Inactive Lifestyle!
What is an inactive lifestyle?
Being a couch potato. Not exercising. A sedentary or inactive lifestyle. NOT getting out talking to NEW People. You have probably heard of all of these phrases, and they mean the same thing: a lifestyle with a lot of sitting and lying down, with very little to no exercise.
In the United States and around the world, people are spending more and more time doing sedentary activities. During our leisure time, we are often sitting: while using a computer or other device, watching TV, or playing video games. Many of our jobs have become more sedentary, with long days sitting at a desk. And the way most of us get around involves sitting – in cars, on buses, and on trains.
How does an inactive lifestyle affect your body?
When you have an inactive lifestyle,
You burn fewer calories. This makes you more likely to gain weight.
You may lose muscle strength and endurance, because you are not using your muscles as much your bones may get weaker and lose some mineral content. Your metabolism may be affected, and your body may have more trouble breaking down fats and sugars.
Your immune system may not work as well
You may have poorer blood circulation
Your body may have more inflammation
You may develop a hormonal imbalance
What are the health risks of an inactive lifestyle?
Having an inactive lifestyle can be one of the causes of many chronic diseases.
By not getting regular exercise, you raise your risk of:
Obesity
Heart diseases, including coronary artery disease and heart attack
High blood pressure
High cholesterol
Stroke
Metabolic syndrome
Type 2 diabetes
Certain cancers, including colon, breast, and uterine cancers
Osteoporosis and falls
Increased feelings of depression and anxiety
Having a sedentary lifestyle can also raise your risk of premature death.
And the more sedentary you are, the higher your health risks are.
How can I get started with exercise?
If you have been inactive, you may need to start slowly. You can keep adding more exercise gradually. The more you can do, the better. But try not to feel overwhelmed, and do what you can. Getting some exercise is always better than getting none. Eventually, your goal can be to get the recommended amount of exercise for your age and health. There are many different ways to get exercise; it is important to find the types that are best for you. You can also try to add activity to your life in smaller ways, such as at home and at work.
How can I be more active around the house?
There are some ways you can be active around your house:
Housework, gardening, and yard work are all physical work. To increase the intensity, you could try doing them at a more vigorous pace. Keep moving while you watch TV. Lift hand weights, do some gentle yoga stretches, or pedal an exercise bike. Instead of using the TV remote, get up and change the channels yourself.
But if your goal is to get a good night’s sleep, your best bet is to turn off the tube. One problem with bedtime TV watching is simply the temptation to stay up late to find out what happens next. Plus, violence, gore, or suspense may leave you feeling anxious and could contribute to the tossing and turning.
Work out at home with a workout video (on your TV or on the internet).
Go for a walk in your neighborhood. It can be more fun if you walk your dog, walk your kids to school,
or walk with a friend. Stand up when talking on the phone.
Get some exercise equipment for your home. Treadmills and elliptical trainers are great, but not everyone has the money or space for one. Less expensive equipment such as yoga balls, exercise mats, stretch bands, and hand weights can help you get a workout at home too.
How can I be more active at work?
Most of us sit when we are working, often in front of a computer. In fact, less than 20% of Americans
have physically active jobs. It can be challenging to fit physical activity into your busy workday,
but here are some tips to help you get moving:
Get up from your chair and move around at least once an hour.
Stand when you are talking on the phone.
Find out whether your company can get you a stand-up or treadmill desk.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Use your break or part of your lunch hour to walk around the building.
Stand up and walk to a colleague’s office instead of sending an email.
Have “walking” or standing meetings with co-workers instead of sitting in a conference room.
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Fortunately, there are ways to counteract these negative effects.
NIA-supported researchers are studying the differences between social isolation and loneliness,
their mechanisms and risk factors, and how to help people affected by these conditions. “NIA is interested in exploring potential interventions to address social isolation and loneliness, which are both risk factors for poor aging outcomes,” said Lisbeth Nielsen, Ph.D., of NIA’s Division of Behavioral and Social Research.
Social isolation and loneliness do not always go together.
About 28 percent of older adults in the United States, or 13.8 million people, live alone, according to a report
by the Administration for Community Living’s Administration on Aging of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, but many of them are not lonely or socially isolated. At the same time, some people feel lonely despite being surrounded by family and friends. “A key scientific question is whether social isolation and loneliness are two independent processes affecting health differently, or whether loneliness provides
a pathway for social isolation to affect health,” Dr. Nielsen noted.
Health effects of social isolation, loneliness Research has linked social isolation and loneliness to higher risks for a variety of physical and mental conditions: high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease, and even death. People who find themselves unexpectedly alone due to the death of a spouse or partner, separation from friends or family, retirement,
loss of mobility, and lack of transportation are at particular risk.
Conversely, people who engage in meaningful, productive activities with others tend to live longer,
boost their mood, and have a sense of purpose. These activities seem to help maintain their well-being and may improve their cognitive function, studies show.
Breaking ground in loneliness research.
Much of what we know about the causes and effects of social isolation and loneliness comes from the groundbreaking research of the late John T. Cacioppo, Ph.D., former director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago and an NIA grantee.
Dr. Cacioppo’s research found that being alone and loneliness are different but related. Social isolation is the objective physical separation from other people (living alone), while loneliness is the subjective distressed feeling of being alone or separated. It’s possible to feel lonely while among other people,
and you can be alone yet not feel lonely.
A pioneer in the field of social neuroscience, Dr. Cacioppo passed away in March 2018.
His wife and collaborator, Stephanie Cacioppo, Ph.D., continues this work as assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at the University of Chicago and director of the university’s NIA-supported
Brain Dynamics Laboratory.
“The misery and suffering caused by chronic loneliness are very real and warrant attention,” she said.
“As a social species, we are accountable to help our lonely children, parents, neighbors, and even strangers in the same way we would treat ourselves. Treating loneliness is our collective responsibility.”
Although there is more to learn, the understanding of the mechanisms of action of loneliness and its treatment has increased dramatically since scientific investigation began more than two decades ago, according to Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo. Among the novel predictions from the Cacioppo Evolutionary Theory of Loneliness
is that loneliness automatically triggers a set of related behavioral and biological processes that contribute to the association between loneliness and premature death in people of all ages. Research is headed toward the systematic study of these processes across generations, Dr. Cacioppo explained.
Understanding the biology of loneliness.
Losing a sense of connection and community changes a person’s perception of the world.
Someone experiencing chronic loneliness feels threatened and mistrustful of others, which activates a biological defense mechanism, according to Steve Cole, Ph.D., director of the Social Genomics Core Laboratory at the University of California, Los Angeles. His NIA-funded research focuses on understanding the physiological pathways of loneliness (the different ways that loneliness affects how your mind and body function) and developing social and psychological interventions to combat it.
For example, loneliness may alter the tendency of cells in the immune system to promote inflammation,
which is necessary to help our bodies heal from injury, Dr. Cole said. But inflammation that lasts too long increases the risk of chronic diseases.
Loneliness acts as a fertilizer for other diseases,” Dr. Cole said. “The biology of loneliness can accelerate the buildup of plaque in arteries, help cancer cells grow and spread, and promote inflammation in the brain leading to Alzheimer’s disease. Loneliness promotes several different types of wear and tear on the body.
People who feel lonely may also have weakened immune cells that have trouble fighting off viruses,
which makes them more vulnerable to some infectious diseases, he added.
NIA-supported research by Dr. Cole and others shows that having a sense of mission and purpose in life is linked to healthier immune cells.
Helping others through caregiving or volunteering also helps people feel less lonely.
“Working for a social cause or purpose with others who share your values and are trusted partners puts you in contact with others and helps develop a greater sense of community,” he noted.
Researching genetic and social determinants of loneliness.
In another NIA-funded study, researchers are trying to understand the differences between social isolation
and loneliness and how they may influence health. They are also trying to identify potential interactions between genes and the environment of older adults affected by social isolation and loneliness.
Previous studies have estimated the heritability of loneliness between 37% and 55% using twins and family-based approaches. “Individuals who are not prone genetically to feeling lonely may, for example, suffer much less from social isolation, while others feel lonely even though they are surrounded and part of a rich social life,” according to Nancy Pedersen, Ph.D., a professor of genetic epidemiology at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden. “We are also interested in understanding what role socioeconomic status plays in such associations.” Using data from twin studies, Dr. Pedersen and researchers found that both social isolation and loneliness are independent risk factors, and that genetic risk for loneliness significantly predicted the presentation of cardiovascular, psychiatric (major depressive disorder), and metabolic traits.
Family history does not strongly influence this effect.
“We need to identify people who are most prone to suffer from social isolation
and loneliness and those who would benefit most from interventions,” said Dr. Pedersen. “Interventions for social isolation may look very different from interventions for those who feel lonely.”
Beyond genetics, understanding social determinants of health, and the role of social and interpersonal processes in healthy aging and longevity, is another research direction at NIH. Scientists are beginning to apply this framework to research on social isolation and loneliness. “Future research will need to clarify the extent to which loneliness and social isolation are malleable, and if so, what are the most effective approaches? Demonstrating that we can move the needle on these risk factors is a critical first step toward developing effective interventions,” said Dr. Nielsen. Research is also needed to clarify how great a change in loneliness or social isolation is required to achieve a meaningful change in health, she added.
Living alone with cognitive impairment.
Older adults living alone with cognitive impairment—a growing and vulnerable population—face unique challenges. Elena Portacolone, Ph.D., assistant professor of sociology at the University of California, San Francisco, leads an NIA-funded study to understand their daily experiences, social networks, and decision-making ability, with the aim of designing culturally sensitive interventions to improve their health,
well-being, and social integration.
“Whereas most researchers of isolation study the personal traits and behaviors of isolated individuals, my research focuses on the role that structural factors (i.e., institutions, social policies, ideologies) play in exacerbating the social isolation of vulnerable individuals,” said Dr. Portacolone. “For example, in my prior investigation of older residents of high-crime neighborhoods, who were mostly African-American older adults, a tension emerged between participants’ longing to participate in society and obstacles
that made this participation difficult to attain.”
These structural obstacles included fear of being robbed, distrust of neighbors, limited availability of appropriate services, dilapidated surroundings, and limited meaningful and positive relationships. Having few friends or family members attuned to their concerns was another factor exacerbating social isolation. Study participants expressed a desire to be socially integrated, an idea that runs against the prevailing assumption that isolated older adults are alone by choice. Similar patterns emerge in Dr. Portacolone’s ongoing
investigation of older adults with cognitive impairment living alone.
“One African-American study participant told me of her tendency to lock herself in the bathroom during family gatherings to cry and ‘let the tension out’ because her family members realize how concerned she is about her memory loss,” recalled Dr. Portacolone. “Other participants with Alzheimer’s disease noted that their friends were less eager to see them after they shared their diagnosis.”
Another structural obstacle is limited affordable services that address the specific needs of cognitively impaired people living alone. Home care aides are seldom trained to support older adults with cognitive impairment, and their fees are often too high for most older adults on a long-term basis, explained Dr. Portacolone. In addition, some older adults with cognitive impairment have had their driver’s license revoked, but they do not get help with replacement transportation, which dramatically increases their isolation.
As a result, older adults with cognitive impairment living alone spend much of their time managing their household and their health, Dr. Portacolone said. They are often reluctant to show they need help because they fear being forced to move from their homes.
“The primary takeaway from this research is that interventions to increase older adults’ social integration should address not only their behaviors, but their overall surroundings. We need to concentrate our attention on the influence of social policies, institutions, and ideologies in the everyday experience of isolated older adults,” Dr. Portacolone said.
References
Administration on Aging. A Profile of Older Americans: 2017 (PDF, 712K). April 2018.
Cacioppo JT and Cacioppo S. The growing problem of loneliness. Lancet 2018;391(10119):426.
Cacioppo JT and Cacioppo S. Loneliness in the modern age: an evolutionary theory of loneliness (ETL). Advances in Experimental Social Psychology 2018; 58:127-197.
Cacioppo JT and Cacioppo S. Older adults reporting social isolation or loneliness show poorer cognitive function 4 years later. Evidence-Based Nursing 2014;17(2):59-60.
Cacioppo S, Capitanio JP, Cacioppo JT. Toward a neurology of loneliness. Psychological Bulletin 2014;140(6):1464-1504.
Cacioppo S, Grippo AJ, London S, et al. Loneliness: Clinical import and interventions. Perspectives on Psychological Science 2015;10(2):238-249.
Cacioppo JT and Hawkley LC. Perceived social isolation and cognition. Trends in Cognitive Sciences. 2009;13(10):447-454.
Cole SW, Capitanio JP, Chun K, et al. Myeloid differentiation architecture of leukocyte transcriptome dynamics in perceived social isolation. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences USA. 2015;112(49):15142-15147.
Cole SW, Hawkley LC, Arevalo JM, et al. Transcript origin analysis identifies antigen-presenting cells as primary targets of socially regulated gene expression in leukocytes. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences USA 2011;108(7):3080-3085.
Portacolone E. Structural factors of elders’ isolation in a high-crime neighborhood: An in-depth perspective. Public Policy And Aging Report 2018;27(4):152–155.
Portacolone E. On living alone with Alzheimer’s disease. Care Weekly 2018;1-4.
Portacolone E, Covinsky KE, Rubinstein RL, et al. The precarity of older adults living alone with cognitive impairment. The Gerontologist 2019;59(2):271-280.
Portacolone E, Johnson JK, Covinsky KE, et al. The effects and meanings of receiving a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment or Alzheimer’s disease when one lives alone. Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease 2018;61(4):1517-1529.
Portacolone E, Perissinotto CM, Yeh J, et al. “I feel trapped”: The tension between personal and structural factors of social isolation and the desire for social integration among older residents of a high-crime neighborhood. The Gerontologist 2018;58(1):79–88.
Portacolone E, Segal SP, Mezzina R, et al. A tale of two cities: The exploration of the Trieste public psychiatry model in San Francisco. Culture, Medicine, and Psychiatry
2015;39(4):680-697.
People who have good emotional health are aware of their thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
They have learned healthy ways to cope with the stress and problems that are a normal part of life.
They feel good about themselves and have healthy relationships.
However, many things that happen in your life can disrupt your emotional health. These can lead to strong feelings of sadness, stress, or anxiety. Even good or wanted changes can be as stressful as unwanted changes.
These things include:
Being laid off from your job.
Having a child leave or return home.
Dealing with the death of a loved one.
Getting divorced or married.
Suffering an illness or an injury.
Getting a job promotion.
Experiencing money problems.
Moving to a new home.
Having or adopting a baby.
Your body responds to the way you think, feel, and act. This is one type of “mind/body connection.”
When you are stressed, anxious, or upset, your body reacts in a way that might tell you that something isn’t right. For example, you might develop high blood pressure or a stomach ulcer after a particularly stressful event, such as the death of a loved one.
Path to Improved Health.
There are ways that you can improve your emotional health. First, try to recognize your emotions and understand why you are having them. Sorting out the causes of sadness, stress, and anxiety in your life can help you manage your emotional health. Following are some other helpful tips.
Express your feelings in appropriate ways.
If feelings of stress, sadness, or anxiety are causing physical problems, keeping these feelings inside can make you feel worse. It’s okay to let your loved ones know when something is bothering you. However, keep in mind that your family and friends may not always be able to help you deal with your feelings appropriately. At these times, ask someone outside the situation for help. Try asking your family doctor, a counselor, or a religious advisor for advice and support to help you improve your emotional health.
Live a balanced life.
Focus on the things that you are grateful for in your life. Try not to obsess about the problems at work, school, or home that lead to negative feelings. This doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be happy when you feel stressed, anxious, or upset. It’s important to deal with these negative feelings, but try to focus on the positive things in your life, too. You may want to use a journal to keep track of things that make you feel happy or peaceful. Some research has shown that having a positive outlook can improve your quality of life and give your health a boost. You may also need to find ways to let go of some things in your life that make you feel
stressed and overwhelmed. Make time for things you enjoy.
Develop resilience.
People with resilience are able to cope with stress in a healthy way. Resilience can be learned and strengthened with different strategies. These include having social support, keeping a positive view of yourself, accepting change, and keeping things in perspective. A counselor or therapist can help you achieve this goal with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Ask your doctor if this is a good idea for you.
Calm your mind and body.
Relaxation methods, such as meditation, listening to music, listening to guided imagery tracks, yoga, and
Tai Chi are useful ways to bring your emotions into balance. Free guided imagery videos are also available on YouTube. Meditation is a form of guided thought. It can take many forms. For example, you may do it by exercising, stretching, or breathing deeply. Ask your family doctor for advice about relaxation methods.
Take care of yourself.
To have good emotional health, it’s important to take care of your body by having a regular routine for eating healthy meals, getting enough sleep, and exercising to relieve pent-up tension. Avoid overeating and don’t abuse drugs or alcohol. Using drugs or alcohol just causes other issues, such as family and health problems.
Things to Consider.
Poor emotional health can weaken your body’s immune system. This makes you more likely to get colds and other infections including cancer during emotionally difficult times. When you are feeling stressed, anxious,
or upset, you may not take care of your health as well as you should. You may not feel like exercising, eating nutritious foods, or taking medicine that your doctor prescribes. You may abuse alcohol, tobacco,
or other drugs. Other signs of poor emotional health include:
back pain
change in appetite
chest pain
constipation or diarrhea
dry mouth
extreme tiredness
general aches and pains
headaches
high blood pressure
insomnia (trouble sleeping)
lightheadedness
palpitations (the feeling that your heart is racing)
sexual problems
shortness of breath
stiff neck
sweating
upset stomach
weight gain or loss
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