We live in a society where if we are ‘too nice’, people will question our intentions.
Some people are nice for the sake of being nice. Being Too nice is shady.
Trust issues are deep! Everybody is trying to get over the next person.
The world is crazy….why am I awake at this time commenting on anything…. And the real problem is too many out there mimicking the same.
Not gonna lie I’m one of those people that questions.
But I’ve been right more than I’ve been wrong.
Also I’m not mean. I just got to know you before I trust you.
I hate that that’s how things are Or they try to take advantage of it …
We live in a society where the free thinking, open-minded people are considered “crazy” and the ignorant, closed-minded people are “normal”.
— Esoteric Exposal
Being nice needs to be fashionable again if we want to live in a better world.
Being nice has many positive benefits in that not only will you be more liked but trusted and respected too… We all have our successes, but we all have our struggles. A lot of the time, we don’t get the opportunity to choose what story we‘re dealt in life.
The view on today’s society is very conflicted. While some say it’s the most accepting and open-minded society to date, others still feel confined by what society defines as the “norm.” Not everyone can be satisfied, but changes should try to encompass a majority of the population. Living and growing up in the U.S., one could argue that I was privileged to have the right to expression and form individual opinions. While I am grateful that I was able to have this right, I wonder if today’s society in general truly is as positive as critics say.
In my opinion, society favor$ the privileged as the Richer Get Richer.
If we are privileged to live in a world where we can show up as ourselves, that is a gift. For sure, not everyone has access to it. Some live in a world where they must hide their beliefs, their gender identities, dilute their dreams or worse, battle through atrocities the likes of which we have nary a concept of. After all, most live in their own “confined” bubbles surrounded by people who agree with their view of the world lock, stock, and barrel.
HAVE VERSUS THE HAVE NOTS AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE iT …
IT IS TOUGH TO GAIN FROM THAT POINT ONWARD!!!
Many people say that we now live in “consumer societies” where money and possessions are given too much importance. Others believe consumer culture has played a vital role in improving our lives. What we do have: is the ability to choose what we do with that story.
I’m a big believer that every day, we have a choice. A lot of people don´t think like this because in our community we value popularity and looking cool as opposed to having our own opinions and beliefs. Society has also ruined us as people by placing expectations on us to have and like things. We no longer have our own identities.
How society destroys our identities
Posted by Deja Harrison
For this essay I wanted to talk about the lack of individuality in our lives because of the influence society has on us. How because of growing up in society we don’t truly have our own identities. We don’t really know who
we are because of how much society has impacted us. I wanted to focus on how society does this and why we feel the need to fit into it.
¨ You shouldn’t wear high heels because you’re already really tall, you’re going to make everyone else look so short. ¨
¨ Yeah you’re gonna look like a jolly green giant in them, just wear flats or sneakers.¨
¨ You think so, I don’t wanna look super huge or tower over anyone. ¨
I was 12 years old and my best friend Imani and I were trying to figure out what we were going to wear to our 7th grade school dance. It was my very first school dance and I wanted to look perfect. I had settled on wearing a dress with heels until Imani reminded me of my height. I began to feel uncomfortable being tall and I started to do and wear things that prevented me from looking any taller than I already was, including wearing heels. I ended up wearing flats that night even though I really wanted to wear heels. I let someone else impact how I felt about myself and make me feel awkward about something that I can’t help.
I was unknowingly lowering my own confidence so that everyone else around me could be comfortable. People don’t realize the ways that influential society doesn’t allow us to be our true selves. We cannot completely be ourselves in this world without upsetting some people. Whether we realize it or not we are always trying to get the approval of others. We long for acceptance and equality from others before we understand it within ourselves. We are constantly unconsciously trying to please others. This makes the priorities in society very questionable.
According to Siimon Reynolds of Forbes “Identity affects how you dress.
Who or what you choose to be is your identity. What wages you ask for or what prices you charge your clients. It even affects how much money you save or spend.¨ We are asked at a very young age who we are and who we are going to be in this world that will make us successful in life. Celebrity Josh Radnor says ¨When I taste success that’s when I’ll be happy¨.
How Your Self Image Determines Your Wealth Siimon Reynolds.
Contributor Entrepreneurs
This article is more than 7 years old. I’ve been reading an interesting book lately.
It’s called “Identity Economics. How Our Identities Shape Our Work, Wages, And Well Being. “It raises some pertinent points for anyone who wants to achieve great wealth in their life. The authors show that how you see yourself plays a huge part in how much you earn, and indeed how much wealth you believe you deserve.
Identity affects how you dress., what wages you ask for or what prices you charge your clients. It even affects how much money you save or spend. With self identity being so critical to financial success, it is truly amazing that people don’t spend time daily developing their self image so that it supports them, rather than pulls them down.
Do you do anything at all to maintain a healthy self identity?
Most people don’t, for two reasons:
They have no idea that their identity is affecting how much they earn. Even if they do know, they don’t know what they can do to change their identity.
In fact, changing your identity is relatively easy, although it takes some months to do it. You just use the same technique taught to Olympic athletes to enhance their performance.
Mental rehearsal.
That is, every day for at least ten minutes, close your eyes and mentally
“see” yourself performing superbly at work. Earning large amounts of money. Being happy and healthy.
Enjoying your ideal lifestyle.
At first it seems implausible that something so simple could affect your performance.
But there are literally thousands of scientific studies that show that, over time, it does.
And remember this: You’re visualizing how things will go anyway, all day long. It’s just how the brain works. So you might as well take control of the process and visualize exactly what you want. With regular daily practice you’ll find you will be more confident, more at ease, more effective. You’ll also find your economic identity will have changed.
And soon after, your wealth.
One does not truly know their identity and who they want to be when from birth we have each been influenced by everything we see and hear around us. In our communities we see things negative and positive that affect overall who we become. Other people shape our identities before we do because of the effect people have over each other. People change people and that’s something that will never change in the world.
We will always be taught, influenced or inspired by something we witness from another person. We all try to fit into the norms of society in order to seek approval from others.
We seem to seek approval from other people before we seek it from ourselves.
I never understood why this was.
We value other people’s opinions over our own. We give up who we really are and lose a part of our identities from doing this. We prioritize fitting in and conformity over self-love, acceptance and individuality.
I wonder what age it is that you lose the satisfaction of being yourself and not caring what other people have to think of you over what you think of yourself. Not everyone follows this. There are people out there who don’t care about the approval of others or society.
They go against the ordinary and do as they please.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson said that.
Some people like the risk of not fitting in and being unique. This is a risk that we should all take. I envy people who don’t care about what other people think or say about them and are content with being themselves. A lot of people don´t think like this because in our community we value popularity and looking cool as opposed to having our own opinions and beliefs. Society has ruined us as people by placing expectations on us to have and like things. We no longer have our own identities.
We let society pick our identities apart and tell us that they aren’t normal, beautiful, or amazing when we shouldn´t. You are the only one who lives your life so according to Siimon Reynolds ¨you might as well take control of the process and visualize exactly what you want.” We are complicit with that system. And in that way, we can say that nice, white people who really aren’t doing anything other than being nice people are racist.
There is no neutral place. It’s not fair for you to not be the person you want to be and are supposed to be.
Be yourself and love yourself.
However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Some people drive us crazy,
and we (admittedly) drive a few mad as well. Those we dislike are inconsiderate, rushed, malign our character, question our motives, or just don’t get our jokes at all — but expect us to laugh at all theirs.
How Smart People Deal With People They Don’t Like…
David K. William
How Smart People Deal With People They Don’t Like | Read Aholic (wordpress.com)
Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect
by Matthew D. Lieberman.. (Goodreads Author)
We are profoundly social creatures – more than we know.
In Social, renowned psychologist Matthew Lieberman explores groundbreaking research in social neuroscience revealing that our need to connect with other people is even more fundamental, more basic, than our need for food or shelter. Because of this, our brain uses its spare time to learn about the social world – other people and our relation to them.
It is believed that we must commit 10,000 hours to master a skill. According to Lieberman, each of us has spent 10,000 hours learning to make sense of people and groups by the time we are ten.
Social argues that our need to reach out to and connect with others is a primary driver behind our behavior. We believe that pain and pleasure alone guide our actions. Yet, new research using fMRI – including a great deal of original research conducted by Lieberman and his UCLA lab — shows that our brains react to social pain and pleasure in much the same way as they do to physical pain and pleasure. Fortunately, the brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms for securing our place in the social world.
We have a unique ability to read other people’s minds, to figure out their hopes, fears, and motivations, allowing us to effectively coordinate our lives with one another. And our most private sense of who we are is intimately linked to the important people and groups in our lives.
This wiring often leads us to restrain our selfish impulses for the greater good. These mechanisms lead to behavior that might seem irrational, but is really just the result of our deep social wiring and necessary for our success as a species.
Based on the latest cutting edge research, the findings in Social have
important real-world implications. Our schools and businesses, for example, attempt to minimize social distractions. But this is exactly the wrong thing to do to encourage engagement and learning, and literally shuts down the social brain, leaving powerful neuro-cognitive resources untapped. The insights revealed in this pioneering book suggest ways to improve learning in schools, make the workplace more productive, and improve our overall well-being.