Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal is here to talk about stress. In particular, she’s here to make the case that stress might not, in fact, be the enemy we tend to think it is. To do this, she asks those assembled in the conference hall in Edinburgh to indicate how much stress they’ve felt in the past year. Surprise surprise, the majority of the audience confesses they have suffered a good deal. Poor stressed lambs at TEDGlobal!
But now, a confession. “My fear is that something I’ve been teaching for the past ten years has been doing more harm than good,” says McGonigal. “Basically, I’ve turned stress into the enemy. But I’ve changed my mind about stress, and today I want to change yours.”
She cites the 2012 study that made her rethink her whole approach, “Does the perception that stress affects health matter?” by scientists from the University of Wisconsin-Madison. It turns out that thinking that stress is bad for you is … really bad for you. Incredibly, she says, over the eight years of the survey, 182,000 people died prematurely from the belief that stress was bad for them. She extrapolates for us: If that estimate is correct, then believing this is so would have been the 15th largest cause of death in the United States.
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“You can see why this study freaked me out,” she adds wryly.
McGonigal cites another 2012 paper, “Improving Acute Stress Responses: The Power of Reappraisal,” published by scientists at Harvard’s department of psychology, and asks what might happen if we change the way we think about stress. “What if we thought about it as helpful?” she asks. Turns out, treating common stress responses as a positive might even be literally good for the heart. Why not recast the stress response as your body responding usefully to a challenge?
McGonigal also wants to talk about oxytocin, the much-hyped (and maligned) neuro-hormone that she describes as finetuning the brain’s social instincts. Amidst all the hype about the “cuddle hormone” and the much-ridiculed notion that we should snort it to become happier people, one fact we lose track of, she says, is that oxytocin is actually a stress hormone.
“The harmful effects of stress on health are not inevitable,” McGonigal says. “How you think and how you act can transform your experience of stress. When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage. And when you choose to connect with others under stress, you can create resilience.”
So while she obviously wouldn’t ask for more stressful experiences in her own life, she does have a new appreciation of the condition. “When you choose to view stress in this way, you’re not just getting better at stress, you’re actually making a pretty profound statement,” she concludes. “You can trust yourself to handle life’s challenges. And you’re remembering you don’t have to face them alone.”
We’re often taught that stress is harmful and best avoided, but The Upside of Stress aims to prove otherwise. Kelly McGonigal argues that stress isn’t the enemy it’s typically made out to be—rather, it’s an ally we should embrace. By changing your mindset on stress, McGonigal claims you can transform it into a resource that leads to enhanced health, greater success, and a more meaningful life.
You’re going to want to read this.
New research finds that when people are subjected to poor grammar, it actually causes them stress — and even initiates a “fight or flight” response.
Heart rate variability — or HRV, which measures the time in between beats — was used as the primary metric to determine how linguistic liabilities impact a person’s physical being.
When relaxed, HRV is commonly less regimented — and it only becomes regular during times of stress, researchers noted.
The more grammatical errors a person heard coincided with the strict regularity of their heartbeat, an indication of stress.
Hearing or reading those cringeworthy errors triggers two (not to or too) pieces of the ANS that are known as the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.
“Simply put, the sympathetic nervous system activates the ‘fight or flight’ response during a threat or perceived danger, while the parasympathetic nervous system controls the ‘rest and digest’ or ‘feed and breed’ functions of the body,” principal study investigator Dagmar Divjak said.
“Our findings show that [the ANS], too, responds to cognitive demands, and this suggests that cognitive effort reverberates through the physiological system in more ways than previously thought.”
Just over a decade ago, researchers at the University of Illinois commonly connected grammar sticklers to having a form of OCD called Grammatical Pedantry Syndrome. The brain activity of the verbal buffs showed similarities to obsessive-compulsive behavior.
“The results of this study bring into focus a new dimension of the intricate relationship between physiology and cognition,” Divjak said. “The relation between language cognition and the autonomic nervous system has so far received less attention.”
Now, the latest report looks to further pursue evidence that words matter — and may actually hurt us.
“This study provides us with a new method for tapping into aspects of cognition that are not directly observable,” the professor added. “This is particularly valuable in work with language users who are unable to verbally express their opinion due to young or old age, or ill health.”
Navigating the delicate balance between acknowledging emotional triggers and encouraging resilience is essential for healthy interpersonal relationships. Let’s explore this further:
Understanding Triggers and Emotional Responses:
Triggers are stimuli that evoke strong emotional reactions, often tied to past trauma or significant experiences.
When someone says, “You’re triggering me,” they express distress caused by a specific action, word, or situation.
Recognizing and respecting these triggers is crucial.
Effective Communication:
When someone expresses being triggered, listen actively and empathetically.
Validate their feelings by saying, “I understand this is difficult for you.”
Encourage coping strategies and resilience: “Let’s discuss ways to manage these feelings.”
Empathy and Boundaries:
Put yourself in their shoes to respond compassionately.
Indeed, not actively listening to others can indeed lead to stress. When we truly listen, we show empathy and understanding, which can strengthen relationships and reduce tension. If you find yourself feeling stressed, consider practicing active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and validating their feelings. It’s a small but powerful way to promote well-being.
Feeling disconnected from others can indeed lead to stress. When we struggle to connect with people, it affects our mental well-being. Here are some reasons why you might find it difficult to connect and how to address it:
Negative Experiences: Past negative social experiences can make it harder to trust and connect with others. Consider seeking professional help to work through these feelings.
Over Reliance on Social Media: Spending too much time on social media can lead to feelings of isolation. Try to balance online interactions with face-to-face connections.
Remember, connecting with others is crucial for overall well-being. If you’re struggling, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor for support.
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If you feel stress on a daily basis, the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety can make all the difference.
According to Gallup, 57 percent of American and Canadian workers report that they feel stressed daily. The anxiety that these employees feel is tremendously disruptive–interfering with their ability to engage with their jobs and to work effectively. As a result, it’s in every leader’s interest to help their people dial down the stress and anxiety they feel.
Fortunately, there are some very effective tools available to do just that. Many people have found that the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety can bring relief–allowing them to de-stress and find the balance they need to contribute their best efforts, both on and off the job.
The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress and anxiety, give the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety a try–just five minutes can make a world of difference. And then be sure to teach your employees how to do it. Here’s how it works.
1. Find a quiet space.
When you start to feel stress and anxiety take over, find a quiet space where you can remove yourself from the hustle and bustle and comfortably stand or have a seat. The idea is to remove yourself from distractions (and that includes your smartphone and coworkers).
2. Identify three things you can see.
After you get comfortable, take a look around you and identify three nearby things you can see. One thing might be a smear of paint on the wall, the second could be a trail of ants crossing the floor, and the third might be a window shade gently moving in the breeze. Focus on these three things–one at a time–and closely observe their details.
3. Identify three things you can hear.
After you’ve identified and observed three things you can see, do the same for three things you can hear. Listen carefully and see what catches your attention. One thing might be the dull roar of a distant freeway, the second might be a vacuum cleaner in the office next door, and the third could be the opening and closing of a set of elevator doors. Focus your attention on each of these three sounds–one at a time–studying them carefully.
4. Identify three things you can feel.
Next, move your attention from the things you’re seeing and hearing to the entirety of your body. What do you feel? Pick out three things you can feel and focus on them, one at a time. The first might be a headache that you’ve been nursing all morning, the second could be the tiredness you feel because you stayed up too late the night before, and the third might be a persistent itch on your ankle.
5. Repeat steps 2, 3, and 4 twice more.
Take time to repeat the cycle of seeing, hearing, and feeling two more times. With each cycle, you’ll feel your anxiety dissipating.
6. Take some deep breaths.
After you complete the three cycles of seeing, hearing, and feeling, take several deep breaths. Inhale slowly through your nose–feeling the air move into your body–hold the air in your lungs for a moment, then exhale gently as the air moves back out of your body. By now, your anxiety should be a thing of the past.
7. Reflect.
So, how do you feel? Check in with yourself and compare how you feel now with how you felt before you began this exercise. If you’re feeling less anxious (chances are, that’s going to be the case), then enjoy your new state of mind. If you’ve still got more work to do, then give the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety another try.
And remember, this exercise isn’t just for you. You can teach others how to use the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety for their benefit. Just think of the difference you can make in your organization.
