“I had no idea how much cancer sucks.”
By James C. SalwitzMD.
My patient’s observation seems silly, basic. Of course, cancer sucks. It maims, humiliates and kills. This statement was made by not a medically naïve person, waiting to die. Rather it was spoken by a patient in complete remission, likely cured, who is an expert in cancer care. To her amazement, it changed life forever.
I think that sometimes we confuse cancer with sudden maladies such as pneumonia, a heart attack or maybe trauma like a broken hip. These diseases are acute, painful and dangerous, but they are brief insults to the body and soul. Once the immediate disease is gone from the body, they usually do not recur or spread. We survive. We heal. They are not a permanent burden on our psyche or lives.
Cancer is not like that. Yes, it can be sudden, painful and debilitating. Yes, we are often cured; it may be very unlikely the disease will return. The difference is that deep in our minds we never heal. Cancer in remission does not leave.
Us, before cancer, is not the same as us, after. Patients and families do not expect this transformation and are baffled that life is not back to “normal.” It is hard to accept that a cancer patient is, somehow, always a cancer patient.
First, there are obvious and common physical effects. Residual aches and pains persist for years. Scars and permanent surgical changes like colostomies or mastectomies.
Chemotherapy injuries such as loss of hearing, vision or neuropathy. There may be slight shortness of breath or factors that decrease endurance. Long-term changes in skin, nails, and hair. Taste, and smell losses limit appetite and the enjoyment of food. The collapse of sexual drive or satisfaction. Memory may not be as sharp. Sleep is erratic.
There is the scourge of fatigue. Even after a good night sleep, you are bushed. Vitality is sapped. Loss of concentration makes it hard to work or enjoy something simple, like reading a book, attending a play or watching TV. You just do not have the energy, the excitement, the moxie. Life may be drained of fun, satisfaction or purpose.
Perhaps the most pervasive change is the never leaving, always just around the corner, deep mental splinter, that reminds you that today or tomorrow, the cancer may come back. Every discomfort seems to be a sign of disease.
Something “obviously benign” like the winter’s cold, a toothache, or heartburn after a spicy meal, can whisper like the first sign of a coming, growing, illness. It is very difficult to “put it behind you,” when it is always in the back of your mind.
The clincher? None of this is obvious to anyone else. No matter how much family or medical caregivers try to empathize, to connect, to understand, surviving cancer is a deeply changing and highly personal experience.
The patient I quoted at the start is a gifted, loving and highly experienced cancer provider, with three decades at cancer’s bedside. None-the-less, she was astonished to experience the transformation in her own life, which is before and then after cancer.
The cancer metamorphosis is different for each person and each patient. None of us were the same before the dread disease, and none of us experience its transformation the same way. There is no “normal,” except change.
Cancer sucks, and it keeps on sucking. Deep healing requires an understanding things are not the same. It requires communication and space, counseling and thought, support and patience. It requires time to find the person you have become.
James C. Salwitz is an oncologist who blogs at Sunrise Rounds.
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Like building physical strength when you work out, building spiritual strength is similar but on the inside. Building your “spiritual strength” activates your spirit and connection to the divine from within, giving – you – the – power you need to live a life of purpose and fulfillment. Even though you already may be living a fulfilling life, your spiritual exercises will make life that much sweeter.
Just like the feeling after a physical workout, spiritual exercise allows your energy to flow more freely, and the feelings of love and positivity will fill your being. Negative thoughts will be forgotten and negative experiences will diminish. When you give and receive positive energy through these exercises, you immediately feel happier.
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7 Exercises for Spiritual Strength
1. Spend more time with loving, encouraging family/friends. Think of your relationships for a moment, does it paint a picture that you’d like to improve? Some of your best moments in life can be with family, but some others may not be so memorable. Don’t hold on to the negative memories – they’re too much of a burden to bear. Release them and know that they will be taken care of for you. You are meant to be happy and enjoy life, especially happy times with those who you are close with. When you’re focused on being spiritually centered, you are also divinely protected. Some negative thoughts can come up and try to bring you down, however, you can be confident in your spiritual strength, letting it speak for you – kind of like a bodyguard!
Give this time with your family or friends the attention and love it deserves. When your heart opens up to your loved ones this way, new patterns and thoughts develop in you. From these new thoughts, you can build the foundation to healthier relationships.
Take action to show those important to you how much you appreciate them. It can be as simple as a phone call or email to warm someone’s heart. It could even turn their whole life around.
2. Go outside as much as possible.
Getting outside is vital to building your spiritual strength. An increased connection to nature and the Earth places you in alignment with the real living energy. It directly connects you to the divine, allowing positive energy to channel to you and through you. Enjoy the sunshine and let it shine on your face (your pineal gland is actually light sensitive) You can do this more by making it a habit to eat outdoors or even take a walk to watch the sunrise or sunset.
As you spend more time outside, be aware of the sights and sounds of nature. Feel the energy of the wind as it blows past you and be sure to smell your surroundings. You were meant to be pleased through your senses, and nature can do that in multiple ways.
3. Reduce distractions (TV, Radio, Internet, Newspaper)
Media can fill your mind with thousands of ads, episodes, and events are nowhere near vital to living your best life. When you reduce the absorption of participating in these activities, there is far less manufactured stimuli being fed in, and your brain has a chance to be silent. These moments of silence gives you an opportunity to strengthen your spiritual connection and those around you.
And if you’re not ready to give these things up or reduce your intake (we understand), just try to sharpen your focus on what you DO want to see (like Power of Positivity), rather than what you don’t.
4. Observe your thoughts about the people around you.
It’s very important to send positive energy to others as well as opening up to receive it yourself. There’s no room in this life to judge others, as you may be judged by others for your own actions. Focusing on pain, gossip, fear, or sadness does not serve anyone.
The energy you send others can help them hurdle their challenge, or stumble trip and fall. Be kind to all people. See the good (and the God) in them and help try to amplify that voice to help lead them to their best life. You may have no idea the kind of battle they’re fighting right now – the energy you send them is very important.
5. Step out in Faith
Be confident to stand strong in the face of adversity. Know that the Divine has got your back, and that a bigger breakthrough is in store for you beyond your challenges. There may be forces that have an investment in keeping you from receiving your best life, but when you decide to stand up or speak out, knowing that your faith is bigger than your fear, the illusion of fear that’s trying to hold you down will diminish and eventually disappear.
You become stronger and wiser when you step out in faith. The lessons brought about by all people and situations we come into contact with are our teachers AND our exams – take this chance to get an A+!
6. Be of service to others
History shows that the most spiritually strong, peaceful, loving people were focused on being of service to others. Jesus, Buddha, Mother Theresa, Gandhi… the list goes on. There is real power and peace in service for its own sake. Take time to help someone in need, or share a contact with them who can. You don’t have to be special to be the turning point in someone’s life – every person you encounter is brought to you for a specific reason. Serve the situation and your spiritual strength will surely grow.
7. Make prayer/meditation a habit.
Regular observance of the “unseen” helpers and guides, angels, or whomever you call on that surrounds you, will cause a change in you. A great exercise for spiritual strength is to pray or meditate (however you prefer) at least two times a day.
Prayer or meditation has a formal beginning like “Dear God,” or “Dear Heavenly Father,” or “Oh Great Healing Spirit.” Other faiths have specific rituals, such as the Muslim religion reciting “The Opening” in a specific posture. It can be practiced in a variety of ways and positions, but all will ultimately help build your spiritual strength and lead you to your best life. As you pray/meditate, sit quietly and allow the divine to come into you to strengthen and illuminate your spirit. Keep your requests in the positive tense, focusing on healing instead of sickness or disease, abundance instead of scarcity, and so on. If you acknowledge the negative energy, you claim ownership to it and allow it to stay in your life. Flood it with the positive!
Be sure to also set aside specific times for this spiritual exercise and try your best to stick to this schedule. This discipline shows the divine. . . .that you are ready to show up for life. You can practice prayer and meditation at any time however, you can connect with the divine whenever you like, just by reminding yourself verbally or through thought that you are always one. Over time, you will see many positive results from this spiritual strength exercise.
Develop a routine from these exercises and remain steadfast in your focus of growing your spiritual strength. As you practice, you’ll see your life improve in front of your eyes and will see that there’s far more strength inside you than you could have ever imagined. Spiritual strength creates beautiful life experiences that cannot be explained in physical terms, gives you confidence, and lets you know that you’re moving in the right direction of life.