In the introduction to TRUE GRIT AND GRACE, Amberly Lago ends with a line that sums up not only her book, but her outlook on life.
“You’ve got a shovel in your hand. You can either lean on it and pray for a hole, or you can start digging.”
True Grit And Grace is the true story of Amberly Lago and embodies the subtitle, Turning Tragedy Into Triumph, perfectly. She begins by setting the stage and showing how ordinary and every day routines can change ones life in the blink of an eye.
The first event occurs where many accidents happen, in her own neighborhood.
This relatively minor incident sets off a string of events that culminate in a horrible motorcycle crash that altered her life forever.
She nearly loses her leg in an accident and it is only her own Texas grit and in the support of her husband that she finds the resolve and courage to fight through and keep her damaged limb. She pulls no punches as she describes the horrendous pain and the relentless determination of herself , her family and her medical team to save her and keep her leg.
Throughout her story, Amberly reflects on her life growing up and reveals not only the upbringing that gave her the no surrender attitude that carried through the pain of over 30 surgeries, but she reveals a background that has broken more than one person on its own.
True Grit And Grace: Turning Tragedy To Triumph is a raw, brutal tale of courage and personal strength that will alternately tug at your heartstrings and make you cheer out loud as she fights her way back to normal life. The book itself is well written and paced, leading to a story you will not be able to put down.
True Grit and Grace is the true story of how Amberly Lago’s life was forever altered by a devastating motorcycle accident, and the victory she discovered through her recovery. In this memoir, Lago weaves the tale of her childhood and early adulthood alongside the grueling process of healing from 34 surgeries and being diagnosed with Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS).
Amberly inspires readers to thrive, even when their circumstances have narrowed their possibilities, and delivers hope and encouragement to others who suffer from chronic pain.
Following my motorcycle accident, I was diagnosed with Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS). It’s is known as “the suicide disease” because it causes constant chronic pain and has driven so many people suffering from it to suicide. It’s ranked highest on the pain scale and has no known cure.
When I was first diagnosed, I was told I’d be permanently disabled and wheelchair-bound.
At first, I lived in denial and pretended nothing was wrong. Behind my smile, I was dying inside from physical and emotional pain. Everything I read about CRPS left me feeling hopeless. Still, I continued moving forward, despite the feeling of a vice grip on my foot and battery acid through my veins.
I tried every kind of treatment for my pain, including a spinal stimulator, nerve blocks, ketamine infusions, Eastern and Western medicine, and anything that claimed it could bring me relief.
It wasn’t until I accepted the fact that I had CRPS and what I call my ‘new normal’ that I began to show myself the self-love and self-compassion I needed to start to feel better. I wish I could tell you. . .that I found some magic pill or movement that relieves my pain.
But the truth is, every day is different, and so are my pain levels. What works some days doesn’t always work the next, so I just keep trying, and doing, and praying.When I am in pain, I go through my list of helpful tools. There is no particular order.
I practice mindfulness, meaning I do whatever I can to stop thinking about and focusing on my pain.
I surround myself with positive people. No more doggy downers, only puppy uppers!
I count my blessings and practice gratitude.
I give myself permission to rest on a flare day and remember that I am doing exactly what I need to do. I am recovering.
I eat an anti-inflammatory diet.
I am on a sleep schedule (and yes, this means that I have an alert on my phone that tells me when it’s bedtime).
I am still learning to meditate.
I breathe deep breaths.
I pray.
I do everything I can to be of service to others. When you focus on the well-being of others, your self-pity disappears as you improve the quality of someone else’s life.
Then I repeat. Instead of allowing my pain to make me bitter, I do my best to appreciate everything I have, no matter how big or small. I will focus on the good in my life and let that be my medicine.
I focus on what I can do and don’t get caught up in past accomplishments. I celebrate small victories along the way, whether it’s being able to walk up the stairs on my own or walk on the beach with my family.
I only look back to see how far I have come. Instead of letting my chronic pain detour me from my endeavors, I use it as a tool to connect me with others going through challenges and am reminded that I am not alone on this journey.
You have endured incredibly trying times prior to your motorcycle accident, including parental divorce and sexual abuse. How has maturity and resilience helped you since your accident?
I learned from a young age to “cowgirl up” because, at the time, there was no alternative. Dwelling on why reality wasn’t prettier wouldn’t have done a thing for me. It would have crippled me then, preventing me from achieving everything I wanted to, and crippled me years later when I was actually crippled, preventing me from choosing nothing less than recovery.
As weird as it may be to say this, I believe the pain and isolation I felt in those difficult times as a child were an ironic blessing of sorts. When you know from an early age that you’re on your own and can rely only and entirely on yourself, it’s as liberating as it is sad. But if you can take the sadness and self-pity out of it, then what you’re left with is a liberating sense of freedom and, when trauma strikes, you don’t waste any time looking for someone to bail you out.
How and why did you choose to ignore and defy the doctor who abruptly told you that you would never function normally within society and not walk again?
Call it my stubbornness, my love of a good challenge or being in complete denial, but I wanted, more than anything, to chase after my daughter like a mother should. I also wanted to be free to do the things that make my heart sing, like hiking and exercise. Just because my body was ‘broken’ on the outside, I was still the determined athlete on the inside.
I learned to truly listen to my body and to be the healthiest I could be, despite my circumstances. We may not get to control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. So, getting on with my life was a series of three steps up and six steps back, both physically and emotionally.
Every one of my surgeries, which totaled 34, I viewed as bumps in the road. I couldn’t think of them as anything but that. If I had, I would have given up. And nothing, not even a doctor’s advice, could get me to do that. Although I love my doctors, I had to think for myself when it came to my own health and happiness.
Understandably, you experienced severe depression following your accident. What was the turning point for you? And how do you find strength and energy to turn such despair into positivity?
Somewhere in between surgeries number 28 and 34, I mentally spiraled into a deep, dark depression. I could feel myself giving up and giving into the pain. In that moment, I thought about my beautiful children, my family, my friends, my clients, and realized I had better make a decision. I could go down the road of despair, or down the road of peace and happiness.
I immediately threw myself into a place of gratitude for all I did have in my life. Every time a negative thought crept into my mind, I replaced it with something I was grateful for. I threw myself into physical therapy and stayed active with my fitness clientele. Even though I couldn’t physically train them at first, I could still create their exercise plans and coach them over the phone. Being of service really took me out of my despair and gave me a sense of purpose and a strong feeling of connection.
Throughout the book, you discuss the need for hope, acceptance and gratitude — to be thankful for all you have rather than looking to the past and what you have lost.
Do you feel this is the key to getting the most out of life?
At first, I was so caught up in my past accomplishments that I couldn’t live fully in the present moment. I went from being a dancer, athlete, and fitness trainer to fighting just to stand upright for a few seconds at a time. I was so embarrassed by my scars and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong with me.
Slowly, however, my perspective changed and I took ownership of my story. I then viewed my scars as battles I had won. Instead of looking down at my leg in anguish, I looked at it as a blessing. I still had my legs. Once I embraced my imperfections and learned self-acceptance, I truly began to heal and be comfortable in my own skin.
Without the traumas and heartbreaks of life, I wouldn’t be able to serve the way I do now. It’s not about circumstances, but about what you decide to do with them. I focus on what I am grateful for and don’t leave any room for self-pity. I make my purpose bigger than my problems.
As Albert Einstein said: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is though nothing is a miracle. The other is though everything is a miracle.” I believe in miracles.
Whitney Elizabeth Houston Lived: Aug 09, 1963 – Feb 11, 2012 (age 48) was an American singer and actress. She was cited as the most awarded female artist of all time by Guinness World Records and remains one of the best-selling music artists of all time with 200 million records worldwide.
She released seven studio albums and two soundtrack albums, all of which have been certified diamond, multi-platinum, platinum, or gold by Recording Industry Association of America. Houston’s crossover appeal on the popular music charts—as well as also her prominence on MTV, starting with her video for “How Will I Know”—influenced several African-American women artists who followed in her footsteps.