Dying To AWAKEN

A JOURNEY THROUGH SACRED ILLNESS!!!

Just as the title of my book in progress suggests; through the experiences of Sacred Illness my soul needed to die to awaken. I am sure some of you are saying WTH are you taking about, while some are nodding their heads saying YES I get that I to have experienced this very thing. So let’s dive deeper into what this means to me personally.

When I received a Cancer diagnosis in 2012 I knew immediately that I was being called to higher action. I asked the Universe, the Gods whatever spirits would listen, the question ” What do you want me to do and what do I need to change in my life”. If you want to know the truth. I already knew deep in my bones what I needed to change and I just was not prepared to do that.

I had fought internally with why I was here and what my path should look like since I was a child. I knew I was called to heal, it would come up in my life over and over and I would stuff it down deeper with every other emotion. I was not prepared to look at head on. It took my Mom’s passing to the other side (from Cancer) five months after my diagnosis to almost give me permission to start the journey to become the person I was meant to be at this time on earth.

I had hung onto a job that left me unfilled and depleted of energy until my Moms passing. Her death was catalyst to the first answer I received from my spirit when first diagnosed and asked the question “What do I need to change”. I heard the words, “Your job, you need to quit your job”. Like I said previously I ignored what I heard, like many times before. I was not prepared to what I viewed as, losing my independence.

I later realized it was about identity as well. I had been nursing for a very long time and loved the patients, caring for and teaching them. The thing that did not align with my soul was not being able to do what I needed to do in order to empower the people to take responsibility for their own health care. This really wore on my soul.

Fast forward 10 months after starting this journey my husband convinced me to quit that toxic environment and just BE, just focus on healing. You could say I was freed up from a job so I could meet the dark side of my soul and do REAL healing, not just taking supplements and drinking juice. Personally I believe there is much more to healing than the physical aspect.

For 8 months I was on 1 – 1.5 grams of high THC cannabis oil. I could do nothing but be couch locked and go within. I disconnected from family, from friends, essentially from the outside world. At times I was very fearful I was losing my shit and would end up in a straight jacket with the medical industry pumping me full of psychiatric drugs. (I chose no poison to treat the Cancer) I cried for 8 months straight from morning until night.

I felt I was crying for humanity and the earth. I felt like chunks of me were literally being ripped off of me. I was stripped of everything I ever knew. I again had an innate knowing that this was a process I needed to experience in order to truly heal my Holy Trinity. Cannabis oil another catalyst to assist me to go into the spirit world and “see”.

I was on my knees more than my feet. Again looking back on this time I truly began to understand that I needed to die in order to live. I did die a couple of times and had the choice to stay or go. I chose and choose a healing path that is not an easy one. But one of exploration, and one of deep journeying to places unknown and of love, so much love. There are and never will be bandage approaches for me. I am inquisitive and want to know things from a deeper level. YOU CAN GET IN CONTACT WITH MY FRIEND PAULA THROUGH HER BLOG …. 🙂

Until I write again,

Big Love

Paula