Crossroad in Life – A Journey Back To Health!
When this happens, we call it a crossroad in life.
I call it a life-saving change.
I have spent most of my life in a constant struggle between what I truly desired out of life and what others desired for me. This ultimately swelled into an internal emotional battle between my heart and mind.
Always wanting validation, always seeking approval, always in competition with others, always afraid of what others thought of me, always afraid of letting people down, always afraid of hurting others feelings if I didn’t do what they wanted, and on and on.
Maybe you know this story as well.
How we arrive at those pivotal moments in our lives presents differently to each of us. It is unfortunate that more often than not it takes an event of great magnitude to force us into making a shift in consciousness. And without a shift in consciousness, we blindly go through life with the belief that “all is well”. We simply continue to move along with our daily routines consumed with the mass consciousness of society. After all, what the majority believes to be the correct way of thinking must be the correct way. Right?
Well, I found out the hard way that the answer to that question is a booming NO!
Expectations, Judgments and Disease
Deciding upon chiropractic as a career seemed to have stumbled upon me rather than the other way around as you are about to read.
I had always led an extremely “high stress” life, not because my job was particularly stressful or that the lack of money was some kind of issue, or any other reason that could justify living in a constant state of stress. Nope, I led a “high stress” life because I put unrealistic expectations on myself.
What do I mean by unrealistic?
Simply that I allowed the judgments of other people to impact my self-esteem and self-confidence.
(Or should I really say; my invention of what I believed were the judgments of other people)
Looking back now, it sounds silly to me how I could have actually lived solely for the validation of other people. As though somehow they, not I, knew me better.
That only “they” knew the inner secrets of “me”!
As I became older, I started to become aware of a feeling of “forever chasing myself”; meaning, I believed that I needed to be the best at everything. Of course if it didn’t come easy for me, I surely must be severely dim-witted because after all, the best at everything always knows EVERYTHING… ALL THE TIME!
After time, the feeling I had regarding these “judgments of others” eventually manifested into deep-rooted anger. This low vibrational energy level at which I was living could only last for so long before it would finally manifest into my physical body—as a disease!
Oh, I had the warning signs of “disease” long before the inevitable “illness” occurred. Some subtle, while others so alarming it seemed as though my own body created a fictitious sledge hammer to whack me upside my hard head as if to say, “wake-up stupid and make changes in your life before it is too late!”
The First “Signs”
The first of those “signs” occurred about thirteen years ago while I was on vacation. Now being on vacation, what’s so stressful about that? I was simply working-out in a hotel gym when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I became “lightheaded” with a feeling of disconnection so strong it introduced me to the wonderful world of panic attacks and anxiety!
All the fearful thoughts that went through my head only increased the anxiety: Am I having a stroke? Heart attack? Am I being invaded by aliens? (Well, when you’re feeling like this, EVERY and ALL thoughts go through your head!)
This “sign” lasted for about a million hours, well okay about 20 minutes, but it felt like it would never end. The feeling of loss of all self control consumed me and all I could hear was the sound of my own heart beat beating faster and faster. My perceived sensation of disconnection grew stronger and stronger. For those 20 minutes, it felt like the most awful feeling I could have ever imagined!
The interval of which I felt these “signs” became closer and closer together. Initially they started just as they usually did, with a feeling of disconnection and lightheadedness. But as time went on, the physical sensations only become stronger.
On one occasion, I was driving my jeep on an entry ramp onto a major highway in Colorado. Out of nowhere I felt my right leg instantly go numb—the whole leg! I used my left leg to control the jeep as I drove off the road in a panicky frenzy, frantically rubbing my numb leg trying to bring it back to life.
Then, as fast as I lost feeling, I began to feel something in my leg again…and finally regained feeling all together. Of course, this set off a chain reaction of the most intense panic attacks and anxiety yet!
(What could have caused this to happen?)
Naturally I went to the ER and they began a series of tests, of which they promptly stopped upon hearing I had no insurance. I mean they were literally wheeling me in a bed with electrodes on my chest monitoring my heart while heading for the x-ray room, and as soon as they heard my insurance status, they turned me around to be discharged. All within 15 minutes!
I was then out the door with instructions to rest and if it happened again, come back to the ER.
(I have always been quite amazed how they could act so concerned one moment and so nonchalant the next.)
To this day I really don’t know what happened except for the possibility that the numbing of my leg was an extreme psychological reaction to my life at that time. My body was indeed that symbolic sledge hammer whacking me upside my thick head again in the desperate attempt to get me to make needed changes in my life—and fast!
As time went by, at least that particular “sign” never happened again (thank goodness!), but an even scarier scenario was soon to manifest itself.
When I took Control of My Life and Health
So there I was becoming a shadow of the woman I had recently been. My cries for help still not being answered by medical doctors and a growing arsenal of free drugs growing exponentially in my cabinet! Having been raised in a “health nut” atmosphere, I had to turn within myself and question the lifestyle I was living.
(Could I be the reason for this show of anger my body was displaying?)
So I asked myself:
- Did I eat well and take supplements? (Sure! Well, sometimes.)
- Did I exercise? (Yes! Well, not smartly.)
- Did I have anger issues? (No! Well, that’s a lie!)
- Was I judgmental of others? (No! Well, I just knew I was better than most people; nothing judgmental about that!)
- Did I have excessive stress in my life? (Yes! Well of course, doesn’t everyone! I just need to suck it up and shut up!)
I’ll say this for sure, it’s amazing how humble you can become when you feel your life is being siphoned away. It’s amazing the things you thought were so important and stressful are really quite humorous when you’re forced to take a step back and really take a look at your life. So, humbly I took inventory of my life and more importantly, how I viewed my life.
What would I do if I did indeed have some awful disease? Some “umbrella-termed disease”, that is given when “they” (the “modern” medical establishment) simply does not know what it is, what causes it, or most importantly, what to do about it except give you drugs (or cut it out)?
I requested three times for doctors to check to see if I had parasites or perhaps something caused by some sort of bite—Lyme disease perhaps? “Well”, they said, “since I had not been out of the country, parasites didn’t seem to be a concern and since I hadn’t shown a visible appearance of the “bulls-eye” sign (common indicator of Lyme disease)” So, testing me for Lyme didn’t seem to be feasible. Per the medical doctors, the chance I may have a pesky critter infestation was deemed as “highly unlikely”.
(I wonder if they realized that only 30% of Lyme disease victims actually present with that “bulls-eye-sign”? I couldn’t help but think, “Wasn’t it at least worth checking before concluding a diagnosis of MS, which is so awful?” …Just a question.)
Consequently, I finally asked myself, “What would I do if I did have some disease? Would I go the drug route, or the holistic route?” After all MS, “a non-curable condition” that can, however, in some cases, go into remission never occur again. Let’s pause for a moment and take note of the definition of remission.
It reads as follows:
“…the state of absence of disease activity in patients with a chronic illness, with the possibility of return of disease activity”.
It’s funny to me how the word absence, in this sense, can’t even be a good thing, not even hope.
However, it also seemed to me that if you heed the body’s cries for change, the circumstance is then also changed; thus, changing the playing field which then prevents the return of disease.
The following is an extremely brief rundown of what I did to regain my health. In order to understand the entire process, my book (Healthcare Freedom Revolution) would have been a bit long to read. It is for that reason is why I decided to create Online Holistic Health website as well as the addition of online video programs and DVD’s (soon to come!)—to make step by step, easy to follow method of making changes in your life so you can also live to your full health potential!
I took hot baths for short periods of time, adding mustard seed among other herbs. This helped to facilitate the detox process. I also started taking mega-doses of probiotics. When the body is so toxic, which is the case in all “disease states”, you are most likely not absorbing any nutrients whether from food or by supplementation. By changing the pH of your system (from acidic to more alkaline), you can purge yourself from years of “caked-on” waste. Any detox program must start in the gut.
This is how I started on the road to re-gain my health—or perhaps—obtained it for the first time!
As I began to detox, I went through what is known as the “Herxheimer Reaction” or healing crisis. This means that before feeling better, you actually go through a period where you feel worse. For nearly three weeks I felt very ill. I had a fever, headaches, and gastrointestinal issues along with all my original symptoms! BUT, I remember feeling that I felt different somehow. It was hard to explain to those who were concerned about me, but I felt different on a deeper physical level. Despite how I awful I was feeling, I felt the sparks of life deep within my foundation!
It was then that I absolutely knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was doing the right thing!
As time went by I was able to detox more intensely by adding saunas to my program as well as more nutrients to my regenerating body. It really was happening quite fast, but when it is happening to you, it can feel like forever. I wanted to be better yesterday. You know how story goes. This impatience leads me to deep breathing and meditation to calm my racing mind, and eventually I included yoga. But all in baby steps, and I mean that literally! I use to go on slow (very slow) walks around a lake in St. Paul, Minnesota and remember wishing, “If only I could walk at normal speed like all these other people.” I made a goal for myself that by the end of the summer in 2002, I would walk at full speed and maybe, just maybe, a little jogging.
(I did indeed reach that goal!)
It’s amazing when you are forced to slow down just how beautiful everything looks—how green —how colorful. I was able to just sit and watch the ducks and geese for hours and hours when I realized something quite life altering—I was smiling and didn’t realize it!
This one moment is what led me to the understanding that physical health is DIRECTLY related to emotional/spiritual health and vice versa.
As time moved on, I became quite the “organic fanatic” (Hey that could be a bumper sticker, uh?) The supplements I added were based on my research and in actuality; I became my own “guinea pig” since my health was in my own hands
I finally owned my own life!
(For a more detailed look at what supplements I took…check out My Anxiety Solution, which discusses both anxiety and MS symptoms.)
Remember, It’s Your Life! Own it!
In order to beat any disorder or disease (more commonly known as dis-ease), one MUST be totally committed and take full responsibility for one’s own life. Not just a change in diet and lifestyle, but also a change in thinking.
This is where, I believe, the biggest mistake is made in most healthcare arenas (or rather disease-care arenas):
The belief that health comes from the outside rather than from the inside!
My health steadily improved and I made huge advances especially when I also added chiropractic to the mix. Sure, I had gone to chiropractors on and off since I was eight years old as my parents were avid believers in alternative healthcare, but for whatever reasons, I didn’t fully understand what such a practice can truly offer to the body.
I lived through one of the most scary and life-changing experiences of my life, and now I get to share that experience as well as help others regain what is truly theirs—their life!
Today I occasionally still get what I call “reminders” from my body when I start to stray and enter the world of absurd stressors (aka: fast-paced-society and allowing others to make decisions for me.) But now I know and understand the art of listening to my body; as only I can respond to myself. I feel I am in the best health I have ever been and continue to improve with each passing day.
I love living in my new world!
The world of life!
What a concept!
Show Highlights from April 21st, 2014:
-What could be causing an anxiety attack out of the blue?
-Getting worse before getting better; Dr. Kmiec tells us the story of her detoxification.
-Regarding Multiple Sclerosis, the science points to nutritional deficiencies
-The ‘cure’ starts in your mind
-Why organic foods today are not what they used to be
-Standard Process Supplements: Dr. Kmiec tells us why she only uses their vegetable based products
-Drinking your vitamins
-Vitamin C: How much is too much?
-The big question about salt
-Half the world’s population is deficient in zinc;testing your zinc levels at home
-Serrapeptase: Dr. Kmiec tells us how her aunt avoided stent surgery by taking this enzyme
-and more!
